Hello my lovely Truuties,
For the first post of the ‘Be You’ series, I thought I’d write about how comparing and feeling envious of other people’s lives stops us from seeing the goodness in ours. I hope by reading my experience, you will be encouraged in some way!
I don’t have a top like the one she has, maybe I need to get one. Otherwise, I won’t be as fashionable as her.
He’s so good at sport. I’m not. If I was as good as him, more people at school would like me.
That girl has loads more friends than me. If I get Snapchat too, I’ll be more popular.
My phone is rubbish. He has a really cool one and gets attention for it. I wish I had that phone too.
They’re so good at that! I wish I was as talented as them. I’m not good at anything.
Their family gets on so well. I wish mine did too.
Their life is so perfect. I wish mine was that nice as well.
Have you ever had thoughts like these? Sometimes comparisons can be helpful, inspiring and motivating but negative comparisons are the complete opposite.
I used to compare myself often with other people, in a way that would bring my self-esteem down and make me feel empty. Whatever I did or however I was feeling, I instantly compared myself with my friends, people I knew or even with YouTubers and other bloggers.
Comparison was stealing my joy.
I wasn’t focusing on the great things about me. I was focusing on what other people were like and what they had. When we start to compare, jealousy and envy can overtake our minds too. For example, when my friends went on lots of little holidays throughout the year, I wanted to be able to do that too. When I went on not so frequent big holidays to Japan, lots of my friends would wish that they could go on such long holidays in a completely different continent too. If we concentrate on the things that we have and have the opportunity to do then we feel so much happier!
Since I realised what negative comparison had been doing to my life, I’ve been on a journey of learning how to stop viewing myself and my life as something I had to make like other people’s. Without comparing myself with other people and trying to change my personality and what I’m like, I feel that I can live my life to its fullest! 🙂
To be honest with you, I still find it quite hard to always remember not to compare negatively. However, I’ve definitely changed my mindset so much and I’m a lot happier with my life and who I am! I believe that God created me the way I am and He has a special and unique purpose for my life. When I came to understand this, I felt so much more content!
Trying to be like other people involves unnecessary hard work so now that I try and make the most of who I’m created to be (I think I’ll share more about that in another post), I have more of a sense of peace in my life.
I’d like to end with some quotes and a Bible verse that I find really encouraging, I hope you like them too!
Personality begins where comparison ends.
Don’t compare your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths.
Never compare your journey with someone else’s. Your journey is your journey, not a competition.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Pay attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
~Galations 6:4 (NLT)
If you would like to have a chat with me about this topic, please feel free to contact me! 🙂 You can email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or DM me on Instagram (I don’t have an account dedicated to my blog at the moment but I have one for my YouTube channel – @genmai_chan).
Please look forward to more ‘Be You’ blog posts!
Also, please leave your questions for my Q&A post in the comments! Thank you for all the questions you’ve asked me already!
Lots of love,
I would love to hear from you in the comments!
What are your thoughts on this post? Have you ever struggled with negative comparison? Do you have any advice for those who are struggling with it now? Do you have any questions for my Q&A?